Phantom
by GrittyRe-boot
Summary: AU: When Finn dies tragically in a freak accident the week before summer break, Rachel is sure that her grief will consume her, until a chance encounter makes her question what's real. Did the boy she loved survive? Or is she simply insane?
1. Prologue

**Author's note: I feel pretty bad for neglecting Hearts on Fire to do another Finn/Rachel fic but I will most likely repost and finish that one in the near future. As for this fic, it was originally going to be for Halloween, but I decided I couldn't wait that long to write it, especially since I'm back on team Finchel, so here it is. I'm sure it's not the only glee fic out there that's (very) loosely based on Phantom of the Opera, but I hope that it will be different enough to strike your Fancy. It starts off in the same universe as the show, albeit a couple of months in the future (I based the Kurt/Blaine stuff on spoilers), but then it goes off on a bit of a crazy tangent. And BTW, I haven't satisfied my angst lust in a while, so it may get pretty tragic. You've been warned.**

Rachel looked across the choir room at Finn, who as always, looked right back at her. Kurt and Blaine were in the middle of their duet, putting everyone in a romantic mood, and even though Finn and Rachel weren't back together, they were hardly immune to it.

_You have come here in pursuit of  
your deepest urge, in pursuit of  
that wish, which till now  
has been silent, silent . . .  
_

She knew he meant what he said to her at nationals, that they couldn't be together, not really. As much as that hurt her, she couldn't help but feel a little warm when he looked at her like that. She really wished he would stop, but she knew if he did then she'd miss it.

_you've already succumbed to me  
dropped all defences completely succumbed to me, now you are here with me  
_

The class applauded as they finished, snapping Rachel out of her Finn-induced daze.

"Dude, that was really gay," Puck said tactlessly.

"That's because they are Moron," Quinn said, rolling her eyes.

"That was great you guys, really" Will said, stopping the argument in its tracks. "Okay so I'll see you all next week."

As the class scattered toward the door Rachel traipsed up to Finn, smiling sweetly.

"Hey Finn, she said, trying to sound as casual as possible.

"Oh, hey," He said, smiling back at her. "You were really good today. But you know, you're always good."

"Thanks, so were you. You're really mastering that smoky, brooding sound."

"Thanks, I've been listening to a lot of John Mayer lately so I guess it's rubbing off."

"No, that performance was all you," She said, still smiling.

Finn looked away from her nervously, "um so, I guess I'll see you tomorrow," he said, starting away.

"Wait Finn, actually I wanted to know if you wanted to come by my house. I'm writing some songs for my synagogue's summer musical and I could really use your input, I mean, you were so helpful to me last time."

Finn gave her a conflicted look, "I'd really love to Rach, but…"

"Finn," she said, cutting him off. "Can I be completely honest with you?"

"Of course."

Rachel looked down, trying to conjure up the courage she needed to say what came next "It really hurts my feelings the way you've been blowing me off lately…"

"But Rach I wasn't—

"Let me finish," She said, interrupting him again. "I mean, you told me that we could be friends, and while I'm not in love with the idea it certainly beats you pretending like you have something going on all of the time just to avoid me, if you don't really want to be my friend then just say so." She stood there waiting for his response. "You can talk now."

Finn looked at her confusedly, his eyebrows raised "Okay, well I'm not blowing you off. I really would like to help you with your music but I…"

"What?" Rachel said impatiently.

"I've been doing extra credit for my chemistry class to avoid summer school," He finally said. "I didn't want to tell you because… I didn't want you to be disappointed in me."

Rachel's stern look melted away with his confession, "Finn," she said sympathetically, placing her hand on his arm. "Why would I be disappointed in you for that?"

"Well, you're like a genius at everything and you don't even have to try, with me I have to study day and night just to pull off straight C's."

"Well, that's just because you don't have me as a tutor," she said confidently. "Tell you what, why don't I skip the song-writing session today and go with you to the lab, maybe I can help."

"Really?" He said, brightening up.

"Of course," she said, taking his arm. "That's what friends do."

* * *

"Okay, right now you're going to pour the solution into the beaker and turn the Bunsen burner up to 100 degrees celsius," Rachel said, reading the instructions out loud.

"Okay, sounds simple enough," Finn said following her instructions.

"I have to say Finn, you're doing splendidly," Rachel said.

"All I'm doing is pouring things into other things," Finn said, shrugging.

"Well you're doing it like a pro," She said brightly.

Finn grinned at her, "You know, it's really cool of you to help me out like this, you're a really good friend."

Rachel wilted a bit at the word. "Well, I figured if I can't be a good girlfriend…"

Finn sighed a little, not exactly enjoying the idea of having the same conversation for what felt like the thousandth time, "Rachel, come on. I thought we were past that," Finn said, avoiding looking her in the eye.

"No, you're past it." She said, finding it hard to believe that she was going down that road with him again. "I'm still trying to figure out how you can look at me the way that you do and feel nothing when all I feel is…"

"What?" Finn said, feeling immediately stupid for goading her on.

Rachel didn't say anything, instead she grabbed his face and pulled him into her, kissing him ferociously as if it was the last thing she'd ever do. And he kissed her back, deeply and longingly, if only for a second.

"Rachel, stop. This is wrong," he said, pushing her away and readjusting his safety goggles.

"Why?" Rachel said. "Because of Quinn?"

"Would you get off of the Quinn thing, not everything is about Quinn," Finn said, almost angrily. "What I said in New York is just as true now as it was then."

Rachel looked away sadly. "What are you so afraid of Finn?" she said, trying not to cry.

"Getting burned," Finn said with a weird, almost panicked tone.

"Why would I… Oh my god!" Rachel said, noticing the fire. It wasn't immediately clear what had started it, all they knew was that the place was going up quickly.

"Finn, get the extinguisher!" she yelled, getting out of her seat. He grabbed the extinguisher off of the wall and pulled out the pin, but as he pulled the trigger, nothing happened.

"Damn public school!" Finn yelled, setting it down and trying to look around for the other one by the door, only to see that it was engulfed in flames. "Mr. Gomez, Mr. Gomez help us!" He yelled, hoping that the teacher was on his way back from the bathroom.

"Mr. Gomez!" Rachel yelled.

"We have to get out of here Rach," Finn said, leading her to the window. He opened it and took Rachel's hand, leading her through it.

"Come on Finn," Rachel cried, reaching for his hand, but something was keeping him from following her.

"Finn, Come on!" she said again.

"I'm stuck!"

"What do you mean you're stuck, get unstuck!" She yelled frantically

Finn tried to untangle his belt buckle from the window latch, but the combination of panic and being genuinely trapped wouldn't allow him to.

"Oww, God!" Finn yelled as the fire nipped at his heels, setting his pant leg ablaze.

"Finn, come on!" Rachel said, crying and pulling at Finn's hand, he pulled his hand away, hoping that two free ones would allow him to remove his belt in time.

"Finn!" she screamed.

As he realized that the extra hand made no difference, his face fell. Although tears flowed from his eyes the physical pain of the fire burning his skin wasn't what caused him to cry. He looked into Rachel's scared eyes and said one anguished word.

"Run"

"No," Rachel cried.

"Run away now!"

Rachel placed her hand over her mouth in shock as the flames started to climb his body. The pain was unbearable and the fear was even worse, but through it all he was able to utter one last goodbye.

"I love you Rachel," he said, his voice thick with tears. But before she could say it back he disappeared into the flames, right before her eyes.


	2. Let It Be

**One Day Later**

She didn't think she would ever stop crying. She cried until her throat was sore and raw, until her eyes were prickly and bloodshot, until her head hurt, until she was sick to her stomach, and then she cried some more.

As she lay on her side and cried, her body heaving powerfully with each intense sob, she clutched Finn's gray hoodie to her chest. He had left it there one afternoon when they were still dating and she had never gotten around to giving it back. It smelled like him, like her Finn. She thought that crying into it would make her feel better, like he was somehow there, but if it were possible it only made her feel worse. Still, she held on to it for dear life, as if it were him in her arms. She tried to think of something happy, of cute puppies and funny jokes, but her thoughts only came back to his face, his terrified face as the flames swallowed him whole.

"Finn!," she yelled, as if he could hear her wherever he was. "Why Finn?"

"Honey," her father said gently as he knocked on the door.

"Go away," she said, almost inaudibly from inside of her room.

"Honey I know how hard this is—

"Go Away!" she shouted, picking up the water glass he had sent her to her room with the afternoon before and throwing it at the door, shattering it. She buried her face into the sweater, continuing to cry into it until she finally dissolved into a fitful sleep.

**One Week Later**

_When I find myself in times of trouble/Mother Mary comes to me/speaking words of wisdom/Let it be._

As she listened to Kurt sing the mournful song for his fallen step-brother, Rachel realized that it was the first time since it happened that she didn't cry at all. In fact, she was the only person who didn't cry as Finn's charred body was lowered into the ground, even Kurt had tears in his throat as he sang for Finn. She wanted to cry, she almost felt disrespectful for not crying, but she couldn't manage the tears. It was as if her soul had shut down to spare her from any more pain, at that point she felt nothing but numb.

_Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be/whisper words of wisdom/Let it be._

Rachel glanced at Finn's mother, finally feeling a twinge of something as she looked at her face. She was completely inconsolable, and even as Burt held her and whispered words of comfort into her ear, the tears wouldn't let up.

Whisper words of wisdom… let it be.

It was really real, he was gone. And there was so much that she was never able to tell him. She thought of those things as she tossed a single red rose into the pit, wanting desperately to throw herself in after it. As they began to throw dirt onto the casket she suddenly felt her lost emotions flooding back at once, the sadness over losing Finn, the regret of never getting a second chance with him, the terror of watching him burn. It was too much to bear, and making no effort to avoid making spectacle of herself, she turned away and began to run as fast as she could. She ran until her sides began to ache and her chest burned with breathlessness, until she couldn't run anymore. Before long she found herself on all fours on the grass, crying and retching and gasping for air. She couldn't run away from her pain and she couldn't run into Finn's arms, there was nowhere to run.

* * *

She sat in the corner, not talking to anyone. She knew that she should have been comforting Kurt, or trying to talk to Carole, or anything to make it seem as if she were still there, as if she hadn't died in that fire alongside Finn. But she couldn't pick herself up off of that chair. She couldn't face any of them. And they knew that she was far too messed up for any of their words to make a difference, so nobody came up to her to say anything past "sorry about Finn, I know he meant a lot to you." Or perhaps the reason nobody said much to her was because none of them realized just how much he meant to her. It wasn't as if they were together when he died, as far as they knew he was only a friend. When she ran off at the burial they probably all assumed that she was just being dramatic, as was her way. They probably would have been offended had that not known that she had watched him die. But one person knew the truth.

"Can I sit down?" Quinn said softly.

Rachel simply shrugged, not bothering to glance up at her.

Quinn sat down next to her. "How are you holding up?"

"Okay," Rachel said, almost inaudibly.

"Liar," Quinn said. "It's okay, I know how much you loved him."

Rachel finally looked sideways at Quinn, not knowing what to say but not wanting to block her out completely anymore.

"He loved you too," Quinn continued. "Even when we were together… it was always you. I knew it. And as much as he tried to push those feelings away… it just didn't take. He loved you very much"

"Yeah," Rachel said. "He told me… before he died."

"I just thought you should hear it from me," she said, placing a hand on her shoulder before getting up and rejoining her friends. As Quinn walked away, Rachel's head fell and she began to cry once more.

**Three months later**

"Where is it!" Rachel screamed as she tore apart her room in a rage. She couldn't believe that she hadn't noticed it was gone before, but it was. She had turned her room upside down looking for it. Finn would be so angry with her if he knew she had lost her star necklace. She was angry at herself, she was so angry at herself that she didn't know what to do. All there was to do was to keep looking, even though she knew deep down that it was hopeless.

"Rachel, honey."

"Have you seen my necklace Dad" Rachel said hysterically as her father Leroy entered her room. "I can't find it. I lost it and I need to find it!"

"Baby girl you need to stop this," He said approaching her carefully. "It's been months, were starting to worry about you.

"It's the first day of school tomorrow and I need that necklace," Rachel said. "You have to help me find it, we have to look everywhere."

"Rachel," he said, touching her shoulder gently.

"Don't touch me!" she said, flinching at his touch. "I just need to find it okay."

"Is she okay?" Rachel's other father Hiram said, poking his head in.

"She can't find her necklace."

"Finn would be so mad at me, I didn't even notice it was gone until now," Rachel said, crying bitterly.

"I'm sure he would understand sweetie," Hiram said, embracing his daughter. She didn't protest, she simply let her father cradle her as she cried into his shirt.

* * *

Rachel walked the halls like a zombie. She couldn't believe how completely life had gone on around her since Finn died. They'd demolished the old science building entirely, the only trace of it was the caution tape surrounding the foundation. Everyone still seemed pretty sad about Finn's death, especially Kurt, but even he managed to keep up a brave front at school, she was sure she had even seen him crack a smile or two in passing, just like everyone else. It was different for Rachel though. She avoided everyone that day, instead of her usual dressed up appearance she wore a simple skirt and t-shirt covered with Finn's hoodie, which nearly came down to her knees. As she sat by herself at lunch that day, she didn't know whether to be upset with all of the people who were moving on with their lives or envious because she couldn't seem to do the same.

"Hey," Kurt said, taking a seat next to Rachel during lunch . "Did you want half my sandwich?"

"I'm okay," Rachel said.

"You need to eat," he said, handing over the sandwich anyway. "You're getting skinny."

She accepted it without further protest, but didn't eat any of it.

"I miss him too you know," Kurt said.

"It just won't stop hurting," Rachel said quietly, picking at the sandwich crust.

"No, it doesn't," Kurt said, speaking from experience. "But it does get easier."

They sat in silence for a moment as Kurt tried to think of something else to say.

"You didn't sign up for glee this year," Kurt said after awhile.

"Everything already reminds me of Finn, I don't want to go looking for more," she said, shrugging.

"You know he'd want you to be a part of it this year."

"Finn can't want anything anymore Kurt," she said emotionlessly, "He's dead." And with that she got up from the bench and left him alone.

She thought she could handle things, she thought that enough time had passed for her to make it through the day without wanting to toss herself off of something very high, but she was wrong. Boy was she wrong. She needed to be by herself, away from all of the people who were stronger than she was, who could face Finn's death with anything resembling rationality. She knew that no one went into the attic over the auditorium anymore. It was used mostly to store old costumes and equipment, but at that moment it was the only place she wanted to be. It was the one place where no one could tell her that everything would get easier.

It wasn't hard to get in, it just took a bit of cunning and athleticism, which she could admit she'd lost a lot of from months of only eating when she was forced to, but once she climbed the ladder and muscled open the rusty door she felt her efforts were worth it. Up there there was no noise, no people, nothing but Rachel and her tormented thoughts. She wasn't happy, she was the first thing from it, but at least she felt like she could breath. She closed her eyes and breathed the weirdly pleasant smell of dust, mothballs and something else, something familiar and comforting, like her hoodie only stronger.

"Hey, I was looking for that sweater," a startlingly familiar voice said. Her eyes snapped open, it couldn't be. It couldn't be that voice, his voice. But it couldn't be anyone else's either. She would know that voice anywhere, and the sound of it made her blood run cold.

"Wh-who's there? She said, her mouth parched and her voice hoarse. The only reason she asked at all was in case she hadn't actually heard anything and it was only her mind playing tricks on her, but as she stood up and noticed a shadow moving behind the row of old costumes, she knew that she wasn't alone. But that voice, it couldn't be him.

"I knew you would show up sooner or later," he said again, his voice bringing tears to her eyes. "I think I was waiting for you in a way."

"Show yourself," She said, surprised that she hadn't run off screaming yet.

"Okay, but I'm going to warn you, you may not recognize me right off the bat."

Rachel squeezed her eyes closed and shook her head as if she were trying to wake herself up, but it wouldn't work, she was still there. "I… I want to see you. Show yourself."

And he did, and not a thing in the world could have kept her on her feet as Finn appeared to her from behind the row of clothes.


	3. Alive

**A/N:I have two endings in mind for this story, one happy(ish) and one tragic, I have not decided which one to use yet, but your input can make all the difference, so if you don't want Finn to be dead in the end then speak up. Fanfic is all about wish-fulfillment right? Oh and I changed the song that Kurt and Blaine were singing in the beginning, it's not a massive change but you might want to check it out. **

She wasn't sure where she was, or who was gently running their fingers through her hair while softly humming a slow tune, but it felt nice and it sounded nice. So nice that she smiled a little in her sleep and grabbed the humming stranger's hand. It was big, and strong, yet gentle as it held her hand back. She couldn't quite place the song, possibly something from the Smashing Pumpkins… Finn loved The Smashing Pumpkins.

Just then she jolted awake as the memory of what had happened came rushing back. As her eyes readjusted to the dim light she tried to make out the face that was staring back at her. His face was partially obscured by a tan leather mask, studded with brass grommets and held on with a thick strap that fastened over one side of his head, but she didn't need to see all of his face to know it instantly. The kind amber eyes, the dimpled half smile, the peppering of freckles, it was him… but it couldn't have been him.

"Hey beautiful," he said softly as she woke up.

She didn't take any comfort in his calm demeanor or his uncanny resemblance to her dead boyfriend, just then she shoved his hand off and scrambled away as quickly as she could.

"Stay away from me!" she yelled as she crouched into the corner.

"Rachel, I know this must be very weird for you," he said, holding his hands up. "But I promise I'm not going to hurt you, it's me, it's Finn."

She shook her head violently as she tried to keep her tears at bay, "No, you're not Finn, Finn's dead, I saw him die."

"Rach, are you sure you saw what you think you saw?" He said carefully.

"Yes, I saw you… I mean, I saw Finn… I saw him burn."

Finn gave her a sympathetic look. "I burned alright, and it hurt a lot and I thought for a good long while that I was going to die, but I didn't. I'm alive."

Rachel tried backing up even more, only to realize that she was pressed against the wall as much as possible. She crossed her arms over her chest as if to protect herself from what was happening.

"Please say something," he said, his hands still raised.

She didn't oblige him, she simply stared. He dressed differently, gone was the T-shirt and jeans look. Instead he had the vague resemblance of a hobo, albeit a very stylish one, with layers of clothes tattered in a way that made him look almost sexily grungy, and his hair was a little longer, but there was no mistaking it, it looked exactly like him, the part she could see anyway. Upon further inspection she noticed the burn scars on the parts of his hands that weren't covered by his fingerless knit gloves. She wasn't sure what had come over her, whether it was sheer bravery, or insanity or the fact that this stranger looked so very much like her Finn, but at that moment she uncrossed her arms and slowly began to inch toward him. Once she got as close as she was willing to go she took one of his hands in hers and slowly began to peel away the glove.

"Don't," he said quietly, tensing up a bit. She simply looked him in the eyes, his smoldering, incredibly Finn like eyes, before continuing. The appearance of his scarred, disfigured hand was enough to turn her stomach and bring tears to her eyes, but she didn't recoil, instead she met his gaze once more.

"I know, pretty heinous, huh?" he said bashfully.

She still said nothing as she reached for the mask next.

"Please, don't," he said, a little more forcefully as he grabbed both of her hands in his, stopping her. She realized that he was adamant about it so she didn't proceed any further, other than to finally speak.

"Does it hurt?" she said, tears in her throat.

"No, not anymore," he said smiling reassuringly. "Not physically anyway."

"Finn?" she said again, almost whispering.

He simply nodded.

"Oh my god!" she said throwing her arms around him. As he held her in his strong embrace she peppered his face with kisses, and he kissed her back when she landed on his mouth. He tasted the same, and his lips felt the same. He was the same, she had no doubt in her mind that it was her Finn.

"You're alive," she said, her smile a mile wide but tears still coursing from her eyes.

"I'm alive."

She planted her feet back on the ground and took his hand, "We have to get you out of here, we have to tell people," she said, trying to lead him toward the door, but he wouldn't budge.

"Finn," she said, her smile falling a little. "Don't you understand? You have to come with me."

He gave her a pained look as he shook his head. "I can't Rachel."

Her smile disappeared completely and was replaced with a confused look. "But why? Everyone misses you, everyone will want to see you. Kurt… your mother."

"It's not safe for me. They can't know," he said, still shaking his head.

"Why? I don't understand."

"Because it's not me anymore, I'm… different."

"But you're not… it's you. I see that now."

"That's why I'm so glad that you're you… that I can trust you," Finn explained. "You're the only one that I can trust anymore."

Rachel couldn't believe what she was hearing. Finn was alive, the nightmare of losing him was over, yet she was the only one it was over for. "Are you scared that they'll reject you? Because of your face?"

"This is Lima Rachel," He continued. "Freaks don't do so well here."

"But you're not a freak," she said pleadingly, putting her arms around his waist. "You're my Finn."

He touched her face, wiping away a stray tear with his thumb, and she leaned into his scarred hand, unafraid and full of trust. "And that's why you have to keep this between us."

"But if we just told people the truth then you could get back to your life," she said, desperately trying to convince him. "And we can be together."

Finn gave her a mournful look, as if his heart were breaking in front of her. "If I show myself in public then they won't let us be together," He continued sadly. "Besides, it's like I said in New York… You deserve better. That's truer now than it ever was."

Rachel removed her arms from around his waist and backed away a little. "But I love you, what's better than being with the person I love?"

"Being with someone who can love you the way you deserve," Finn said.

Rachel shook her head, not believing what she was hearing, "Are we back to this? Even knowing what I know now you still expect me to just walk away? I can't do that Finn, and the fact that you expect me to is just cruel," She said.

"I don't expect you to walk away. I showed myself to you for a reason."

"Why?"

"Because," Finn started. "Because you need my help."

"Why, because I'm grieving? We're all grieving, everybody loved you."

"No, "Finn said, giving her a sly look that was both charming and slightly troubling. "Did you know that there's a piano up here?"

She shook her head, wondering where he was going with this.

He walked up to the row of costumes and wheeled them out of the way, exposing the beaten up old piano in the corner. "I've never been really good," He said, taking a seat and beginning to play a simple melody, "But I've had some time to practice, I even figured out how to tune it, which is a lot harder than it sounds."

"Finn… are you okay?" she said, concerned.

"Not exactly," He said, continuing to play. "You see, I have unfinished business, with you. I've always kind of regretted not helping you with your songs that day, and not just because it would have kept me from getting barbecued."

"Finn, can you please just tell me," She said.

"Sorry, I guess I do tend to ramble." Finn said, finishing on the piano and turning to face her. "Rachel, you and I are going to make music together."


	4. The Recluse

**Sorry for the short chapter, I kind of split up the third chapter into two separate ones so I could keep the quick updates coming without overwhelming myself, but the next one should go longer.**

Rachel hadn't moved, she just stood there , she'd imagined and dreamed of Finn coming back to her somehow, but not like this. Not scarred and tortured and clearly a bit whacked in the head.

"Okay Finn you're starting to scare me, how can you be so casual about all of this?" Rachel said, finally taking a seat next to him. "Do you have any idea what's going through my head right now?"

"I'd imagine you're about as freaked out as I was when I found out I was still alive." Finn said.

"How did you survive?" Rachel said, "How could anyone survive that?"

"I'm not really sure, I guess I blacked out from the pain and when I woke up I was here, all bandaged up." He said, shrugging. "And there was this guy, he came and went, bringing me food and clean bandages and stuff. He didn't talk and I never saw his face though. I'm not even sure if it was a he. But anyway, after about two months or so when I could move around by myself he just stopped coming. It was only me."

"And you just never left?" Rachel said, "Why?"

"I don't leave the school, but leave the attic every once in awhile after hours, like when I get hungry. And I thought the cafeteria food sucked before it was all I ate."

"That's not what I meant, why didn't you ever go home?"

"It's like I said Rachel… it's not really me anymore."

She shook her head, still not understanding, "Why can't you just show me your face? How bad can it be?"

"Well, have you seen Nightmare on Elm St?"

She simply nodded.

"Well it's sort of like that, only this side is still cute," He joked, pointing at the unmasked side of his face.

"Okay, maybe showing yourself will be hard but I'm sure after awhile they won't even notice."

He responded only with a look that said, "so young, so naïve."

"So," He continued, disregarding her words and starting again on the piano. "We have this piano and we have your voice. I think we should do it, after glee club, what do you say?"

Rachel just shook her head and stood up, turning her back toward Finn. He stopped when he heard her sniffling.

"Hey, what's the matter?" He said, getting up and putting an arm around her. He felt her body shake as she cried. "Why are you crying?"

She turned around to face him. "I just missed you so much, and you've been alive all this time and I'm so happy, but I just feel like you've… changed somehow."

"I have changed," he said, placing a loose strand of hair behind her ear, "But there are parts of me that are still the same, the part that loves you, the part that wants you to be a star."

"I can't just write songs with you as if nothing ever happened," she said shaking her head.

"Why not?"

"Because this is crazy!" She said, forcing his arm off of her "You can't stay here, you need to come home."

"Shh, come here," he said pulling her into his chest. "I promise you that I'm okay here."

"No, you're not okay Finn. Why can't you just come with me?" she said, still sobbing into his shirt and tightly grabbing the lapels of his trench coat.

He tilted her chin up and kissed her softly before pulling her back into his embrace. "I missed you too you know, I thought about coming to see you all the time," he whispered into her hair as he held her close.

"Then why didn't you? How could you let me think you were dead?"

"I couldn't risk anyone else seeing me by leaving the school, I had to let you come to me. Somehow I knew that you would. And I was right."

"What if I hadn't?" she said, looking up at him again.

"Then I would have risked everything," he said.

She smiled a little at his words. "How can I convince you to come back with me?" she said.

"You never give up do you?" he chuckled.

"On you? Never," She said.

She stood up on her tiptoes to kiss him again, only to be stopped by the fourth period bell.

"Well, that's it for now I guess." He said.

"Are you kidding, I just got you back, I can't leave now."

"Rachel Berry, skipping class?" Finn said, smirking.

"That's what you're worried about right now?"

"Go, I promise I'll be here when you come back," he said before kissing her one more time. She wasn't sure why he kept doing that when just a few moments ago he told her he still meant what he said in New York, but she didn't protest.

"Are you sure? What if something happens," she said as their lips parted, still reluctant to leave.

"Nothing's going to happen, I swear," he said. "Now go."

"Okay," she said, backing toward the door so slowly that she was barely moving at all. "I love you Finn."

"I love you too." He said as she disappeared through the rusty door.

Rachel couldn't think straight for the rest of the day, she kept having to convince herself that what had happened was real, and not just some crazy dream. The fact that she could still taste Finn on her lips was the only thing that kept her believing that she had actually saw him, and she wanted so badly to run back up to the attic just to make sure he was still there. She wouldn't be sleeping that night, that much was true.


	5. In Dreams

**Sorry for the break in quick updates, I neglected to mention that I was going away for spring break. I'm happy to say I had an awesome time with my besties, and for once the weather in Frisco was bright and sunny this time of the year instead of rainy and cold. If you've never been to Wondercon I highly recommend it. But anyway, back to my life, and hopefully quick updates. hope you like the super long chapter :)**

Rachel didn't usually dream about things that had already happened, her subconscious adventures were usually about winning Tonys or making shimmery, soft focus love to Finn on a field of wildflowers. But that night was different. Somehow she actually had managed to fall asleep, although her slumber was troubled by bizarre dreams that ran into each other.

She dreamed of playing poker with David Bowie, Morgan Freeman, and for some reason Count Chocula. She dreamed of being stuck in an elevator with Kurt, only to have it turn into a spaceship which landed on a distant planet inhabited by flying disco dancers. She dreamed of attending a Broadway production of Wicked starring the New Directions, only they were dressed entirely in bacon and all spoke with the voice of Peter O'toole. She dreamed of Finn's face, staring down at her, but without the leather fright mask, and he was crying, and she could feel his tears landing on her face. She dreamed of going to Disneyland, only it was completely deserted and the rides were broken down and decrepit, and the only employee was Sue Sylvester.

She didn't know which dream came first or if they all happened at the same time, but she knew where the dream ended. It was in a place she had been before, she remembered singing on that stage earlier in the year, the stage was a lot bigger in her mind and the seats in the audience were blue instead of deep red, and she was pretty sure the real curtain from the theater was never emblazoned with a giant screen print of Pink Floyd's dark side of the moon album cover, but she knew it was the same place. And she was sure that the two people sitting on the stage were the same two people who had been sitting there months ago after they lost nationals. It was her and Finn. Only this time Finn was wearing his regular clothes instead of the nice shirt and tie he had actually been wearing that night and Rachel was wearing her PJs. However, the conversation they were having was eerily familiar.

"You know what they say, there's always next year," dream Finn said, shrugging.

"Yes, I suppose you're right," dream Rachel said sadly. "Still it would have been nice."

"You were great," he said, "If we were all as good as you are we would have won easy."

Dream Rachel didn't smile at his compliment, if anything she looked a little sad. "You really are very sweet… Quinn is a lucky girl."

Dream Finn gave her a conflicted look, as if there was something he wanted to tell her but he didn't know if it was the right thing. "Um, actually, Quinn and I sort of… been having some problems."

She tried to look sympathetic, as if she were sorry, but she wasn't sorry, not in the slightest.

"What kind of problems?" she said, trying to sound as neutral as possible.

"Well it s a lot of things, we had a bit of a fight after prom"

"About what?"

"Well, I accused her of using me to win prom Queen and she just blew up at me, she said I was the one who was using her…"

"For what?" She said, still trying not to sound as excited as she felt that Finn was close to being back on the market.

"Well, Quinn kind of had this theory that I was dating her to… help me forget… about you."

Dream Rachel looked away from him, not knowing exactly what to think, on one hand he had to try to forget about her which meant he was thinking about her. On the other hand why would he want to try to forget about her at all?

"Is that true?" She said quietly.

He gave her a shrug that meant to say "yes and no" but actually said "absolutely."

"I see," she said. "So what does this mean? For us?"

He looked away, looking conflicted as ever. "It doesn't mean anything," he said unconvincingly.

"No, it does mean something," she said, raising her voice a little. "It's written all over your face, you still love me don't you?"

"Rachel—

"Oh my god you do," she said.

"I never said I didn't," he admitted, but his tone wasn't positive, it was annoyed and snappish.

"So you do, you still love me?"

"Of course I still love you Rachel, but that doesn't mean that I can just get back together with you."

"So you love me, but you're not in love with me, is that what you're saying. You love me but you're in love with Quin—

"God would you stop, please!" Finn said, getting up angrily. "Do you want to know how I feel about you? Do you really want to know?"

She just looked at him, startled.

"I think about you so much it makes my head hurt," Finn continued. "Whenever I look at you I want to run home and eat Ben and Jerry's and watch… I don't know, Twilight. I am so in love with you that every time I hear your name I want to cry and throw up at the same time because all I want to do is sing corny show tunes with you that end in me holding you in my arms and kissing you like it's the last thing I'll ever do… but I can't do any of that."

She was shocked, so shocked by his rant that she almost couldn't get out the words she had to say next. "Why can't you? Because of Puck, how many times do I have to say I'm sorry? I mean, you forgave Quinn and she cheated on you way worse than I did"

"It's not because you kissed Puck, it's _why_ you kissed Puck."

"I don't understand."

"You kissed Puck because you wanted to make me feel bad," He continued, almost yelling at her. "You wanted to make me feel bad because you felt bad. When we were dating all you ever did was compare yourself to other girls and seek my reassurance all of the time. It's as if you were always waiting for the other shoe to drop. You acted like I was just waiting for something better to come along, and the only way to keep that from happening was to either do some crazy thing to make me jealous like kissing Puck or constantly grilling me about which girls I thought were prettier than you."

"But I—"

"No, let me finish," Finn interrupted. "Rachel, it breaks my heart that the only time you don't realize how amazing you are is when we're together. And you know what? Maybe it's my fault, maybe something about me and you as a couple just makes you insecure. But whatever it is I just can't go there with you again."

"So you're saying you don't like who I am when we're together?"

"What I'm saying is you don't like who you are when we're together. And I can't stay if I make you feel like that."

"But you don't," she said pleadingly, with tears in her throat.

"I don't mean to, no. But I think that part of me was waiting for the other shoe to drop too," he said. "It was always at the back of my mind that you're going to have this amazing life one of these days and when that time comes there won't be a place for me anymore. So maybe deep down inside I wanted you to feel differently about yourself, I wanted you to feel like someone who should settle for me. But then when you kissed Puck, when I saw who you were turning into, I just couldn't do it anymore... You deserve better."

She couldn't stop crying at that point, not even long enough to argue.

"Look Rachel, just because I love you, just because I'm _in love_ with you doesn't mean I'm the right guy for you." He said, his voice softening as he pulled her in for a comforting hug. "But I'll always be your friend, I'll always be there for you no matter what… I just really wish I didn't have to kill you."

As she heard the gunshot she snapped awake. Her eyes prickled and her head hurt a little. She looked at her bedside clock, it was five thirty. She had only slept for two hours and it felt like it. She dreaded dragging her tired body out of bed to endure another school day, having to walk the halls knowing that she wouldn't see Finn among the—

Just then it hit her, Finn was alive, she may have been the only one who knew, but she was certain that he would be waiting for her just like he said he would. She knew the difference between dreams and reality, and there was no way that seeing Finn again was a dream. At that thought she perked up immediately and rushed out of bed, eager to see Finn again.

* * *

Rachel's certainty that Finn would be there began to fall away steadily after the adrenaline rush wore off. It wasn't until she stood at the stairs that she began to think that there was a chance he really had been just a dream, either that or she had gone crazy with grief and was imagining the whole thing while strapped to a bed somewhere, either way she climbed one step at a time, her heart pounding the whole time. When she heard the music playing a smile crept to her lips. He was there, at least for one more day she could reassure herself that she wasn't crazy.

She missed his voice, she missed the raw, gravelly tone of it, the barely controlled passion of it. She missed it so much that she didn't make herself known immediately when she poked her head into the attic. He really wasn't very good on that piano, but he tried, and his soulful singing made every missed note and hesitant chord a lot more tolerable.

_Whether you're laughing or you're screaming__  
__No one else could take your place__  
__I will always see your face__  
__When I'm awake and when I'm dreaming_

_Cause I believe there's a place for you and me in this crazy world_

_If you come running back to me I'll be here waiting_

_Cause I still believe in a love worth saving__  
__If you could see the sad look on my face__  
__You'd be in your car headed back to my place__  
__Come back to me, I'll be here waiting—_

"I know you're in here," he said, stopping

"Don't stop," Rachel said, climbing in. "It was nice."

"We still have work to do," he said, "But first, there's something I forgot to give you."

She walked up to him, "What is it?"

He reached into the pocket of his trench coat and pulled out something, something very familiar.

"Oh my god, where did you find that?" She said, as she looked at the slightly charred star necklace.

"You must have dropped it when you were escaping the fire," He said, placing it around her neck for her. "I thought you might be looking for it."

"I was, I was so worried that I lost it forever. How did you ever find it?"

"When I was going to the boys locker room to shower a couple of weeks ago I thought I'd pass by the old science building, You know, I guess I just felt like torturing myself that day, but I saw it in the bushes so I thought I grab it for when you decided to come back to me."

"You were that sure that I would?"

"It's like you said," he said, shrugging. "You've never given up on me."

She smiled a little. "You know Finn, I had a dream about us last night."

"Yeah?" he said, perking up a bit.

"Yeah, it was that night we lost nationals. I dreamt about the talk that we had. I was in and out of my own body, sometimes I was me, and sometimes I was watching from afar, like I was someone else, but I relived everything you said to me that night… except this time you killed me at the end of it."

"Oh," He said, clearly a little rattled. "You know I would never hurt you right?"

"Yeah, I know," she said, touching his arm reassuringly. "It was just one of those crazy things that didn't make any sense."

"Yeah, I get those all of the time."

"It did make me think though, about that night, about all of the things that you said."

"What about them?"

"Well, would you still have said them had you known that you were going to die?"

He thought about what she said for a moment. "I think about that all of the time actually."

"And what do you think?"

"I think if I would have known there was even a chance that I would never see you again, then…" he looked as if he was either trying to find the words, or had already found them and was simply debating whether or not to say anything else. "Then I would have kept my mouth shut and kissed you right then and there."

"I thought so," she said before throwing her arms around him and kissing him.

"But Rachel," he said, his voice muffled by her kisses. "I didn't die."

"I know, that's why it's called a second chance." She said, before pressing her lips to his again.

"Rach—

"Finn shut up," she interrupted, forcing her mouth onto his and not letting up until he gave in, which thankfully didn't take long.

"Okay," he said as she pulled off his trench coat and began to run her hands up and down his body. "Can I leave the mask on?"

"If you want," she said pulling off her yellow cardigan. She placed her hands on his face as she kissed him, melting into him more and more with each passing moment. It was amazing how little the mask really mattered, when she was with him like this she barely noticed it.

"Shit," she said, annoyed as the first period Bell rang. "Why didn't I get here earlier?"

"You swore, you never swear," Finn said clearly surprised.

"You're telling me that you're shocked by _my_ behavior?"

"Good point," he said. "Go, I'll see you at four."

"No, you'll see me at three."

"But you have glee today, you can't abandon everything from your old life because of me."

"I wouldn't have gone back anyway," she said. "It's not going to be the same without you."

"Rachel. Promise me you'll go today."

"Finn—

"Promise me, or else I'm putting a padlock on that door, I'm sure I can find one up here." He said looking back and forth.

"Okay, fine, I'll go," She said. "But I refuse to sing with any boy that isn't you."

"All solos?" Finn said sarcastically, "How will you survive?"

"Good to know you haven't lost your sense of humor," Rachel said kissing him one more time before starting out the door.

**That chapter was a bit fluffy towards the end, but I only wanted to signify how easily Rachel has become comfortable with Phantom Finn, because he is still Finn underneath it all. I hoped the tone didn't throw anything off, and yes, there will be more angst on the way. And I thought I would start naming the songs I use in my Fics, the one Finn was singing is called Come Back to Me by The Plain White T's.**


	6. A Song For Finn

She could tell they were all looking at her, or trying not to look at her. Either way she wondered how she would make it through what was sure to be the longest hour of her life. She told Kurt that she wasn't coming back, and she meant it, and she was sure that her absence wasn't exactly inconspicuous the day before. Still, she was there, and the only thing keeping her from turning right back around was her promise to Finn, and Mr. Schue's warm smile upon her entrance.

"Hey Rachel, it's good see you. We weren't sure what we were going to do this year without our star," he said as she took her seat next to Kurt, as much as he was trying to play it off, she could tell that he was different around her too. Last year he never would have referred to Rachel as their star, he was always too concerned with everyone being a team player, but after everything she had gone through she fully expected the special treatment, even if she didn't want it.

"Just to fill you in on what you missed yesterday, the glee club is going to be putting on a benefit concert at the end of the month," Mr. Schue continued. "And the proceeds are going to go towards—

"Mr. Schuester, are you sure she should be hearing this right now?" Quinn said, gently cutting him off. "I mean, Rachel's very fragile right now."

"It's okay Quinn," Rachel insisted. "What's the concert benefiting?"

"Well, we all lost a dear friend and team member this year, and I know he meant a lot to you personally," He said carefully. "I had a talk with Figgins before school started and we agreed that the best way to honor Finn's memory would be to dedicate the new science building to him, and the ticket sales from the concert are going to go towards building the Finnegan C. Hudson Science Building."

Rachel wasn't sure what to say. She wasn't even sure how she'd feel about the project had he actually died in the fire, but knowing he was very much alive was enough to tie her stomach up into a tight knot.

"What do you think?" Mr. Schuester asked.

"Um, I think…" She tried to find the words to say next, but she couldn't think of anything. Not one word.

"Look, I know losing Finn was especially hard on you Rachel," He said sympathetically. "To have witnessed something like that had to have been incredibly traumatic."

She simply nodded, her expression blank.

"If you don't feel like you can participate than I understand completely"

"I just… it's just," Rachel said. "I don't know."

"I'll give you time to think about it, just know that whatever you decide we're with you 100 percent,"

Rachel nodded again as the rest of the glee club members offered a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Mr. Schue?" Rachel said finally. "What does this benefit concert entail exactly? What kind of songs will we be singing?"

"Well, I've thought about that" Mr. Schue said, rubbing his chin ponderously. "We want this concert to be a celebration of Finn's life, so we've decided to include some of his favorite songs of course, and…"

"And what?" Rachel pried.

"Again, this is only if you feel you can," Mr. Schue proceeded. "Yesterday, we decided as a group that should you return to glee, we would ask if you would be willing to write a song in honor of Finn's memory."

"You want _me_ to write a song?"

"Well, we know that he was important to you," Kurt said.

"And we figured with your talent as a songwriter you would be the person most suited for this," Artie chimed in.

"I really don't know guys," Rachel said, the knot in her stomach tightening with each passing moment.

"Look, you don't have to decide right away," Mr. Schue said. "Right now we're just so glad to have you back."

"Yeah, we all missed you," Mercedes said.

"I'm really glad you're back too," Santana said with what appeared to be a genuine smile. As little as the overwhelming offering of sympathy and kindness surprised her, she had to admit that Santana behaving somewhat human towards her threw things off a bit.

"Mr. Schuester, can I be excused for a moment?" Rachel said quietly.

"I knew we shouldn't have brought this up," Quinn said.

"No, no it's not that," Rachel said shaking her head. "I just have some things to think about."

"Okay, but you will be back right?" Mr. Schue said.

"I promise," Rachel said, meaning it.

"Do you need me to come with you?" Kurt said.

"No," Rachel said, forcing a reassuring half-smile. "I'm okay, you guys. I'll be back." She didn't await any further protests before she exited the choir room, waiting until she was a safe distance away before she began to run as fast as her slender legs would carry her.

* * *

"Finn, we have a problem!" Rachel panted, storming into the attic.

"What are you doing here, it's only 3:15," Finn answered.

"Not important right now," she said. "They're putting on a memorial concert… for you."

"Glee club?" Finn said.

"Yes, glee club, who else would it be? It's to go towards rebuilding the science building, which they'll be renaming in your honor."

"Wow, I don't know what to say."

"Are you actually flattered right now?" Rachel said, annoyed.

"Well you have to admit it's a pretty big honor," Finn said.

Rachel shook her head in disbelief. "Of course it's an honor to have a building named after you posthumously, there's only one problem Finn, you're not dead!"

"Okay, okay," Finn said, "Look, we can figure this out. Maybe you can tell them that my dying wish was to have a building named after someone else, like a civil rights leader or an astronaut or something."

"Are you serious Finn?" Rachel said. "Are you still considering staying up here after hearing that? You have to tell them that you're alive."

"I told you that I can't," Finn insisted.

"Then what are we going to do? God Finn, they want me to write a song for you. I can't write a song for a dead person that isn't really dead."

Finn walked up to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "You have to calm down. It may not seem like it but this is a good thing."

"No, it isn't a good thing, this is an awful thing."

"This school needed a new science building even before the old one burned down, and you can help make that happen," he continued.

"No, insurance can make that happen, the most this concert is going to get are some new flat screen computers." Rachel said, somewhat regretting it, she hoped he hadn't taken that the wrong way.

"Even still, wouldn't it be nice to have computers without a banana shaped logo on them? Maybe now some of these kids will actually have a chance at getting into college."

Rachel narrowed her eyes at him. Finally a light went on in her head as she looked into Finn's eyes.

"Wait, you knew this was going to happen didn't you?" She deduced "That's why you wanted to help me write a song, because you knew that Mr. Schuester would ask me."

"Rachel…"

"How much time do you spend shimmying through the air vents when you're not up here?" she asked, her arms crossed.

Finn sighed, defeated. "So I spy on the occasional person, what do you expect me to do? There's no TV up here."

"How could you do this? Wow can you expect me to write a song for you knowing that you're still alive?"

"Because…"

"Because? That's your answer? No I need a straight answer from you right now Finn."

"Rachel I—

"Why? Why is it so important to you?"

"Because I want you to move on Rachel!" he finally snapped.

Rachel couldn't understand what he meant, how could she move on if he was still alive? It didn't make any sense.

"What are you talking about Finn?"

"I'm trapped because you're trapped, and neither of us can be free unless you come back."

"Come back to what? What are you saying?"

"I'm saying you have to get back to your life, you have to keep fighting."

"Finn, are you okay?" She said hesitantly.

Rachel didn't like the way he looked, he looked dizzy and confused, as if he wasn't all there.

"Are you okay?" she repeated, taking a few tentative steps forward.

"Come back Rachel," he said, before collapsing at her feet.

* * *

She paced the floor, staring down at him, she'd give him five more minutes to come to, five minutes before she flagged down the nearest person and told them about Finn. She wouldn't lose him again, and if that meant betraying his trust in order to get him to a hospital than she'd just have to betray his trust. Especially sense his reasons for staying locked away seemed more dubious than ever.

"Rachel, are you there?" he said groggily as he began to wake up.

"Oh my god, Finn," Rachel said, throwing her arms around him. "I was so scared, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," Finn said. "I just got a little dizzy."

"What were you talking about before?" She said, stroking his hair gently. "What did you mean by 'come back?'"

Finn looked at her, perplexed. "I don't really remember."

"Try to remember. We were talking about the benefit concert, you said in order to come back I had to write this song. What did you mean?"

He still didn't seem to know what she was talking about.

"Just think, think really hard."

"I'm sorry, I don't know," He said.

"I need to get you to a hospital."

"Trust me, it won't make a difference," Finn said. "It's okay, I'm fine, I promise. When I'm up here I just tend to wig out a little sometimes."

"Well, you can't possibly still think that writing this song is a good idea."

"Rachel, as long as I'm stuck up here I want to do what I can to make things better for this school. This isn't about me, I promise. It's just that I feel kind of attached to this place now, you know?"

"So you really want this?"

"The song doesn't have to be about me, it can just be about loss. In a way I did lose my life in that fire, and in a way you really did lose me."

"But I didn't," Rachel said. "You're right here, I mean, you may be a bit mentally disturbed but you're still you."

"Hearing you say that means a lot," He said, smiling. "But there's another reason I want us to write this song."

"Why?"

He sat up and looked her in the eye. "I know what happened to me is still affecting you, you try to hide it but I can see it in your eyes. You still can't move past what happened. And I know that's what's keeping you…"

"Keeping me what?"

Finn shook off whatever thought he was processing before. "Nothing, I really don't know where I was going with that, but I meant the first part."

She didn't disagree. He was right, the sight of him burning still haunted her every day, there was no escaping it. "And you think writing this song will help?"

"It won't make everything okay, but it can be a start, for both of us. That's why I wanted to write it together. What happened messed me up too, maybe this is a way for us both to come to terms with it."

"Is that what you meant before, when you said I needed to move on?"

"I guess. It's like I told you before, I don't really remember what I said."

Rachel thought it over for a second. "Okay, if this is what you want than we can write this song. But there's one thing I want you to do for me first."

Finn looked as if he were genuinely afraid of what she would ask, still he nodded for her to continue. "I'd do anything for you, you know that."

She inched toward him, until her face was so close to his that the tip of their noses almost touched.

"I want to see your face."

**I know, weird chapter, but I promise that Finn's odd behavior will be explained (hint: it's not just that he's gone crazy). I have decided which ending to use, and although I'm not going to tell you which one I decided on I hope you like it. Four chapters to go!**


	7. Yes or No?

Finn inched back a little, looking unsure of what to do or say.

"I don't know Rachel," he said.

"It doesn't matter what you look like, I'll accept you no matter what. But you said yourself that we both need to come to terms with what happened," Rachel said. "How can either of us deal with what happened if you hide from me?"

Finn let out a low sigh, "Are you sure you won't scream?"

"I promise," she said. "Show me."

Finn slowly reached for the strap that kept the mask fastened, his head down and his hands shaking a little as he began to undo it.

"It's alright Finn, you can do it," she said, goading him on.

He unfastened the strap and grabbed the mask, pulling it as slowly away from his face as possible. Finally he raised his head, looking her in the eye. Her breath caught in her throat a little, but she didn't scream as she looked upon the half of his face that was burned away .

"Oh Finn," she said sympathetically, placing her palm over the warped, molten flesh on his cheek. He placed his hand over hers, squeezing it gently.

"I didn't want you to see me like this," he said quietly "I didn't want anyone to see me like this."

"It's okay, It's going to be okay."

"No it isn't. It's not me anymore."

Rachel exhaled sharply in frustration. "Yes, yes it is you. Why do you keep saying that?" she said, tearfully. "Either you're you are you aren't, you can't be both."

"You'd be surprised."

"God, why do you keep talking to me in riddles?" Rachel said angrily. "What are you hiding?"

"What makes you think I'm hiding something?" he said exactly as if he were hiding something.

Rachel simply shook her head, trying to hold herself together. "You keep saying things like it's not really you anymore and that I need to come back, come back to what? What does that mean?"

Finn looked as if he wanted to answer her, but something was stopping him. Instead he stood up and refastened his mask. "You have to go back, they'll be wondering where you are." He said, his back turned.

"Fine, don't talk to me," she said getting up and heading toward the door. "But this isn't over, I'm coming back at four, and you better have some answers." She shut herself out and started down the stairs, more confused than ever.

* * *

She was true to her word, she returned to the attic after glee practice, ready to talk, but Finn clearly wasn't. She could tell by his face that he was no more willing to answer her questions than he was before.

"Sit down Finn," she said. He obliged, taking a seat on the piano bench.

"I'm going to ask you a series of yes or no questions, and I promise that I won't follow up on any of them, I'll accept your answers and continue with this song as long as you tell me the absolute truth.

"Okay," Finn said, nodding.

"Okay," Rachel agreed, sitting next to him. "Question one… are you really alive?"

"Yes," Finn said.

"Question two… are you ever going to leave this school?"

"No," Finn said.

"Why?"

"I thought these were yes or no questions," Finn said.

"Fair enough, I'll rephrase," She said. "Question two… are you hiding something from me?"

Finn hesitated a bit, but finally opened his mouth to speak.

"Yes," he said.

"Can you tell me what you're hiding?"

"No."

"Will you ever tell me?"

"It's not up to me Rach—"

"Yes or no?" she said firmly, cutting him off.

"Yes," Finn said. "I can't tell you when."

Rachel simply bit her lip and nodded, before taking a seat next to him, "Okay, that'll have to do for now."

Rachel couldn't believe she was back there again, after everything Finn had put her through. The more time she spent with him the less he resembled himself. She didn't know whether he had lost his mind or if she was losing hers, either way, being there began to scare her, yet she couldn't stay away. Even as a troubled, disfigured version of himself she couldn't stop loving him, she just wished that she knew what he was keeping from her. He spoke in circles and continued to evade her questions when he wasn't going off on random tangents, and that was without mentioning the sheer perversity of writing a song to commemorate his own death, and involving her in it nonetheless. Still she agreed, and she wasn't sure if that made her just as crazy as he was.

"So what are we trying to say about loss?" Finn said as he awkwardly picked out notes on the piano.

Rachel just sat there for a second, trying not to show how strange she felt. She wanted to be with Finn, and for whatever reason being with Finn meant participating in this insane assignment, so instead of protesting once again she swallowed hard and opened her mouth to speak.

"Well, I know when you died there was nothing I could do to make myself feel better. I kept trying to find ways to make it stop hurting, but nothing worked. It was as if everything you meant to me turned back on me, threatening to crush me the more I thought about it."

Finn gave her a strange look, as if he wasn't sure whether to feel flattered that he meant so much to her, or sad that she had to go through so much pain.

"I'm sorry Rachel," he said, squeezing her hand.

"It's okay, you're back now," she said, smiling weakly.

She put her head down and started to play a mournful tune.

"What is it?" Finn said.

"That's just it, you're not really back. Your mother, your step-father, Kurt, Mr. Schue… they all still feel the way I did when you died. There's no miracle for them."

"I know you think showing myself will change that…"

"Why won't it?" Rachel said.

"Rachel, when people die, they die. That's the way it is for most people, but it doesn't mean that things will never get better. I've been watching over this school a lot these past couple of days. There's no crying in the hallways, people are laughing, moving on. There's still sadness here and there, but they'll make it through."

"That's not what I asked you," Rachel said.

"I know, but I still think that's what we should write about, we should write about coming back from the worst."

"Coming back?" Rachel said.

"Yeah. It'll be positive and inspiring. It'll show everyone that there's no reason to be afraid, that you have the strength inside of you to come back."

Rachel tried to keep her tears at bay, but it was no use, there was only so much she could take of this. "You said it again."

"What?" Finn said, shrugging.

She shook her head violently and stumbled off of the piano bench. "I can't do this Finn, I can't. I thought I could but I can't," She said.

"What's wrong, what happened?" Finn said.

"I have to go." She said, heading for the door.

"I knew I shouldn't have showed you my face, that's why you're leaving isn't it."

"No, it's not that. I just need some time."

"Are you coming back?" Finn said, a worried look on his face.

"I don't know that I can," Rachel said. "I'll write the song if that's what you want, but I have to do it alone, I'm sorry."

With that she closed the door and ran out of there, not stopping to look back. She ran all the way home, sobbing and out of breath the whole time. Finally she reached her house, hoping to god that her parents weren't there. No such luck, not only where her dads home, they were both sitting at the kitchen counter, as if they were waiting. She wiped her eyes as quickly as possible, hoping that they wouldn't comment.

"Are you okay honey?" Leroy said, concerned.

"I'm fine," Rachel said, pulling herself together surprisingly well.

"Well, we have some good news," Hiram said, "I was dusting behind the bookcase and look what I found."

As he held up the star necklace Rachel's blood ran cold. She reached for the one that Finn had secured around her neck before, but she felt nothing there. She knew she hadn't taken it off since then. She had become rather paranoid about it actually, checking constantly to make sure it was there. She distinctly remembered playing with it in glee practice that day. There was no way that he could have found it behind the book case.

"We knew how worried you were when you lost it," Hiram said, standing up to hand it to his deeply rattled daughter.

"But I found it before, didn't you see me wearing it this morning?" Rachel said.

"No, not that I remember." Leroy said. "Maybe you dropped it before school."

She looked at it closely, "Did you get it polished?" she said, noticing that the charred surface was golden and good as new.

"Umm, No," Leroy said "Baby girl are you okay?"

"I have to go," Rachel said, running upstairs without awaiting their protests. She shut and locked her door upon entrance into her room and whipped out her cell phone, trying to keep her hands from shaking as she dialed Kurt's number. She knew that she made a promise to Finn, but she couldn't keep it up anymore, she needed to know for sure that she wasn't losing her mind and she knew that Kurt was the only one that she could trust.

"Kurt Hummel speaking," he answered after four rings.

"Kurt," Rachel said, choking out his name through her sobs.

"Rachel?" Kurt said, concerned. "What's the matter?"

"There's something you need to know," she said, still crying. "It's about Finn."


	8. The Benefit

"Rachel, are you okay?" Kurt said, concerned.

Rachel tried to calm down, breathing steadily until she could talk again. "No, no I'm not okay," she said, still hyperventilating.

"Do you need me to come over there?" He said.

"No, there's just something you need to know, and this is going to sound crazy but—

"What's going to sound crazy?"

Rachel flinched and dropped her phone as she heard Finn's voice. She turned steadily to see him standing there at her window.

"Rachel, Rachel are you okay?" Kurt said over the phone. She slowly bent down to grab it and held it to her ear. "I'm okay, I just… I was just upset. I'm fine now." She said emotionlessly, pressing end on her phone before Kurt could say another word.

"Do you know how big of a risk it was to come here like this?" Finn said.

"You said you would never leave the school," Rachel said, perplexed.

"And you said you wouldn't tell anyone about me."

"Finn I'm sorry. I had to, I have to know that I'm not crazy."

"You're not." Finn said, inching toward her.

"How can I believe anything you say? If you're a figment of my imagination then you'll just tell me whatever I want to hear."

"What makes you think I'm a figment of your imagination?"

Rachel simply held up her fist, the gold necklace still dangling from it.

"Oh," Finn said simply. "I can explain that."

"How?" Rachel said angrily, throwing the necklace to the floor. "Nothing you've said to me has made any sense. You should have died in that fire."

"Ouch," Finn said.

"Don't be cute," Rachel said. "You know exactly what I mean."

"So what, you think I'm a ghost?"

"I think there's a reason you won't show yourself to anyone but me," Rachel said. "Tell me the truth or I swear to god I'm going to call Kurt right now and tell him that you're here."

"I'll be gone by the time he gets here."

Rachel simply nodded. "Fair enough… Dad!"

Finn rushed up to her and put his hand over her mouth. "Okay, okay," He said, frantically, defeated.

He removed his hand from her mouth. "I can't show myself to anyone else… because… because."

"Because what?" Rachel said impatiently.

"There was this bear, it was the biggest one I've ever seen. And I was like seven years old so you can imagine how freaked out I was. But then this Park Ranger…"

"Finn!" Rachel yelled, snapping him out of his rambling.

"Sorry, I got confused again," Finn said, "God why can't I just tell you? I keep trying and nothing ever gets through."

Tears sprung to Rachel's eyes. "Is it because you really are dead?"

"No Rachel," He said, placing his hands on her shoulders. "I'm not dead, or at least Finn isn't."

"So you're not really Finn?"

"It's complicated."

"Why? Why is it complicated?"

"The truth is, I can only tell you what I know, which is unfortunately not much, at least not yet. But the more time goes by the more I do know and the more I can help you."

"You're not helping me Finn you're driving me crazy," She said.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to," He said. "It's just that, I don't know how this works. I've never done this before."

"Done what?"

"The unfinished business thing, all I know is that before the fire you asked me to help you write a song, so that's what I'm here to do. I really don't know what else to do."

"Finn the Musical was months ago," Rachel said.

"It doesn't matter, you needed my help and I failed you, so I'm helping you now. Or at least I'm trying to. The whole benefit concert thing was just a weird little twist I guess," Finn said. "It's kind of hard figuring out how your mind works sometimes."

"What do you mean by that?" Rachel said.

"What did I mean by what?" Finn said confusedly.

"Nothing, look Finn, I don't know what this is or why you're here but if writing this song will help me figure it out then I'll do it. No more questions, I mean it this time." She sat down on her bed and grabbed her tablet off the desk. "Sit down."

He obliged, taking a seat next to her. "Let's do this."

* * *

Rachel's heart pounded in her chest, the audience was packed. Rachel had never had a problem singing in front of an audience before, but this was different. She was expected to sing a song written by her and her dead boyfriend, about her dead boyfriend, who was apparently neither dead nor her boyfriend. Things like this just didn't happen to normal girls. But then again she had never been a normal girl.

"Rachel, are you sure you're okay to do this?" Kurt said, placing his hand on her shoulder.

Rachel placed her hand over his and squeezed. "All I wanted was for Finn to come back to me, now I don't know what I want. Do you think that's strange?"

"It's a little cryptic, yes, Kurt said. But this death has affected us all. I mean that day you called me, I was so afraid you'd fallen off of the deep end."

"That's the thing Kurt," she said sadly. "I think I have."

"Rachel, you're on," Mr. Schue said before Kurt could comment.

She walked out on stage, looking up toward the attic, and although she could only see his outline through the window, he was there sure enough.

"This song is dedicated to Finn Hudson, who I will love always." Rachel said into the mic.

_I wish I could see you_

_Wanted to believe you_

_When you said you'd never go away_

_Peel away this layer _

_You'll see my world is grayer_

_Although I'm pretending I'm okay_

_But in spite of my weakness I get by on the promise_

_That one day we will be together _

_In some way we'll come back to the beginning _

_I wish I could be you_

_By that I mean I wish it had been me_

_But since that's not the reality _

_I'll have to say_

_Why can't we come back to the way we were?_

_Why can't you come back to me now?_

_Come back to me now…_

She trailed off, trying not to break down, and the audience applauded and waved their candles in encouragement and the glee club surrounded Rachel in a supportive hug. She looked up one last time at the window trying to find the strength to finish, but this time she had to do a double take. There were two outlines behind the frosted glass. She knitted her brow in confusion. Who else could possibly be up there with Finn?

She inched closer to the front of the stage. Trying to get a better look, but the next thing she knew, a loud crash snapped her out of her daze.

She screamed loudly as she saw him lying there in the aisle, his limbs twisted horrifically from the fall.

"Somebody call an ambulance!" She screamed as she rushed up to him. "Finn, oh my god!" she said, sitting him up in her arms and stroking his hair.

"Rachel, what happened?" Kurt said.

"Didn't you see? He fell, somebody pushed him out of a window," She cried frantically. "Oh god, I should have told you that he was alive all along."

"Rachel, are you okay?" Mr. Schue said, carefully moving toward her.

"Am I okay? Why are you worried about me?" Rachel said. "Call an ambulance, there might not be much time, Finn could die if he hasn't already."

"Okay Rachel, that's enough!" Carole said. "Why are you doing this?

"Mrs. Hudson, I'm sorry. I found out that Finn was alive a few weeks ago, he's been living in the attic. But somebody must have found out, they must have pushed him, we have to see who it was.

"Rachel," Burt said calmly. "There's nobody there sweetie."

Rachel looked down at Finn, and sure enough there was nobody lying in her arms.

"But… " Rachel trailed off, looking up at the window. It was completely solid, nobody had been pushed through at all, she had imagined the whole thing.

"Honey, maybe we need to see about getting you some help," Leroy said, tentatively touching her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Rachel said, I'm so sorry." And with that she scrambled up from the floor and ran as fast as she could toward the attic.

"You lied to me," Rachel cried, storming into the attic, and making sure to lock it so nobody could follow her.

"I saw you singing," Finn said. "You were incredible."

"You lied to me!" She repeated angrily.

"I don't get why you're back here. The song should have worked."

"What are you talking about now?" She said, almost sobbing. "And what was that down there, was it your idea of a sick joke?"

"No," Finn said, facing her. "That was your mind playing tricks on you, the smaller the gap between fantasy and reality becomes the more it will happen. Like with the necklace. You're starting to figure out where you are."

"Where I am, Finn? Are you saying I'm the one who…" She trailed off as a horrible revelation came to mind. "Finn, am I… dead?"

**God I wish I had professional lyricists to write songs for my fics. I did the best I could though.**


	9. Lost

**Yay, quick update plus a double long Chapter! That's how much I love you guys.**

"Answer me Finn, am I the one who died in the fire?"

"You look good today Rach, you're looking better all the time," he said. "guess what I brought, I thought we could watch it together again."

Rachel just gave him a confused look, but before he could say anything he walked up to her and placed a searing kiss on her lips.

She tried not to melt into Finn's kiss, she tried not to go weak in the knees and hold him as close as she could manage. But it was no use, even when she was that mad at him she couldn't help herself when he kissed her like that, at least not right away.

"Finn stop," she said, pushing him away. "What's going on? One minute I'm yelling at you, asking if I'm dead, the next you're kissing me."

"Actually I think that was from him," He said pointing up.

"What?" she said, more confused than ever.

"Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, but you weren't ready to hear it."

"Hear what?"

"Think Rachel, think really hard about what happened the day of the fire."

Rachel's expression darkened as she tried to remember. "You burned, I saw you."

"No, I didn't. Well I did, but it wasn't really me," Finn explained. "It was the version of me that you created, right before you brought me here."

Rachel shook her head violently. "No, I couldn't have been the one that brought you here, you're massive."

"I know it sounds crazy, but the reason you were able to bring me here is because this attic isn't real. None of this is real."

"Of course it is, we're standing right here."

"Rachel, if there were a place this private and this easy to get into at the school, don't you think that kids would be coming here to make out all of the time?"

Rachel's expression fell. "So you're saying?"

"It's not the real world Rachel, that's why I couldn't leave before. That's why it was such a big risk coming to your house, I didn't know where I would end up. And I didn't know if anybody else would be able to see me, that's why I couldn't show myself, I needed you to trust me and I knew you wouldn't if nobody else could see me."

"But you told me you leave all of the time."

"That's what I told you, but the truth is that night in your house was the first time I've ever left."

Rachel backed up until the backs of her knees hit the piano bench and she collapsed onto it. "So I am dead, and this is some sort of purgatory?"

"No Rachel," he said kneeling in front of her.

"So it's hell?" She said, starting to panic. "But I was so good."

"You're not dead," Finn said, placing his hands on her knees. "You're lost."

"Lost where?" Rachel said, still crying.

"Think Rachel, think about the fire."

* * *

He sat next to her, like he did every day for the past two weeks. He was barely able to fit onto the bed, but he tried his best, it was the only way to see the screen clearly, he told them when they objected to him sitting there. But that was a lie. The truth was, he liked feeling her body next to his, even when she didn't move much or speak at all, feeling her breathing next to him was the only comfort he still got anymore. He was a mess though, he was freshly showered with a clean set of clothes, but still he was a mess. They could all tell. He always looked like he was on the verge of tears, even when he was telling her a funny story. And the way his face broke every time he saw her laying there was enough to make them worry that he was going to lose it soon.

He was losing it, he could feel it. Still he was there, every day. And every day was different, every day it was a different song or a different story, but it was always the same movie. He wasn't sure why, it couldn't have just been that it was an especially good bootleg of her favorite play, it probably had more to do with the ritual aspect. He had a feeling that one constant thing had to be good for her, it had to be something she would respond to sooner or later. He seriously hoped it was sooner. They all hoped it was sooner, as much as they worried about her, they were starting to worry about him too, he was so messed up over the whole thing that he barely even responded when Quinn broke up with him the week before. She was nice about it, sympathetic, but she knew what brought him there wasn't just friendship, she knew that even before the fire. Somehow winning just wasn't that important to her anymore. The truth was, breaking up with Finn in the midst of a crisis was the merciful thing to do. He needed to be there for her, without guilt, without anything keeping him at a distance. He knew that Quinn would be okay, but Rachel needed him, and he needed Rachel, and that was all there was to it.

"Look Rach, it's your favorite part." Finn said as the Phantom began to sing with Christine.

"Good Morning Finn," Nurse Shaw said, entering the private room.

"Hey, we were just watching Phantom," he said, pressing pause on the portable DVD player that laid across Rachel's immobile lap.

"Again?" Kurt said entering behind the nurse with a bouquet of flowers "That's like the ninth time."

"It's her favorite," Finn said. "And I'm actually really starting to like it too, especially the part where the phantom guy shows the gross half of his face."

"It's so sweet what your doing. You've been here almost every day for two weeks, singing to her, watching Phantom of the Opera, talking to her, playing the keyboard…" Nurse Shaw started.

"Horribly I might add," Kurt cut in cattily.

"I know you guys think I'm crazy but I think I'm getting through to her." Finn said, stroking her hand. "Yesterday I told her a story about the time I saw a bear at camp and her eyelashes fluttered a little."

"We're starting to worry about you," Kurt said, taking a seat, "It's summer, you should at least be trying to enjoy yourself."

"How?" Finn said.

"I don't know, go to a party, maybe take Quinn out to the movies."

"You mean the same Quinn that broke up with me last week? Do you really think she still wants anything to do with me at this point? Would you want anything to do with me?"

"Good point," Kurt said.

"I meant how can I have any fun when all I can think about is when she's going to wake up?" Finn corrected. "I can't sleep, I cry randomly for no reason."

"And that's why we're worried about you. If it weren't for limited visiting hours we'd never see you. I think you're here almost as much as her dads. Where are they by the way?"

"In the cafeteria," Finn said.

"That sounds like a plan actually."

"_You_ would eat in a hospital cafeteria?"

"God, no, but you must be hungry."

"They have breakfast burritos today," Nurse Shaw said before exiting the room, her chart in tow.

"Hear that? Breakfast burritos," Kurt said nudging him.

"It's okay, I'm not hungry."

Kurt looked as if Finn had just told him he'd assassinated the president.

"Excuse me?"

"What? I had a power bar yesterday, I'm fine."

"What time yesterday?" Kurt said skeptically.

"Noon… ish" Finn said.

"Okay, get up." Kurt said, grabbing Finn gently by the arm.

"Okay, I'll have some stupid food." Finn said, standing up. "I'll be right back okay?" Finn said to Rachel before bending down and pressing his warm, soft lips to her cold, chapped ones.

"Why do you do that every time you leave the room?" Kurt said. "Is it some sort of sleeping beauty thing?"

"No," Finn said. "I just like to think that wherever she is she can feel it."

* * *

"You did it again," Rachel said, pushing him off. How am I supposed to remember what happened if you keep kissing me?"

"I'm sorry, it's him doing it, I can't control it."

"Can you just try for a minute, I need to focus," Rachel closed her eyes, trying to remember what happened that day, trying to remember every insignificant detail. The posters on the walls of the science room, the smell of acid, the tightness of the safety goggles on her face... a loud bang followed by a sharp pain in the side of her head and complete darkness after that.

Finally a light went on in her head and her entire body stiffened involuntarily as she relieved the explosion in her mind.

"It was me," She said finally. "There was an explosion, the Burner exploded and I was hit, something hit me, a fragment from the counter."

"Yes, I carried you out of there before the fire could spread, I found Gomez and got everyone out of there before it went up. Or, Finn did," Finn said, as if he were reliving it too.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Rachel said, crying.

"I wanted to, but I knew as much as you did most of the time. I'm the real Finn, but only sometimes. Only when he's talking to you up there and the things that he says get through to you. The rest of the time I'm the version of me that you created. I couldn't tell you anything that you couldn't remember on your own." He explained.

"So the song?"

"I guess deep down you thought it was what you needed to do to come back, what we needed to do together. But that was wrong, you're still here."

"So what am I supposed to do now?" She said, crying.

"I don't know Rachel," He said. "I'm lost too."

Rachel collapsed into him, wrapping her arms around him and sobbing into his shirt.

"It's okay," he said, rubbing her back. "We'll figure this out."

* * *

"I promise you we'll figure this out Rach," Finn said, stroking her hand. "You'll come back to me, I know it. Sorry I left before, Kurt forcefed me a breakfast burrito in the cafeteria. It was okay I guess. He went home but he promises to come see you again soon."

He looked at her, still not moving.

He kissed her small hand "I want to take you out, when you wake up I mean. There's a Mumford and Sons concert coming up soon in Cleveland. I got tickets for us. I thought you could wear that blue dress that I like, the one with the little hearts all over it, and I can wear my nice jeans… and I've never told anyone this before, but I've always wondered how I'd look in a fedora… Jesus I think I've been spending too much time with Kurt," he rambled, knitting his brow a little at the last part. "The piano lessons are going good, I'm still pretty bad but I can almost play with two hands now. Kurt says that's important. You'd be so proud of me Rach, last night I played the entertainer without missing a single note. It took me a really long time, but I did it. I thought if I could get good enough we could be an even stronger songwriting duo, I mean I'll never be as good as you, but I want to be there, whenever you need me."

His voice began to break as he talked to her. "I miss you, I miss talking to you and actually having you say things back to me. I know you think I never really listened to you, but I always did, every time. And now you can't talk at all and all I want is to just hear your voice. I just want you to open those beautiful eyes and talk to me. It could be about anything, it could be about sweaters. I would listen to you talk about sweaters all day long if I could." He couldn't talk anymore, he collapsed onto the side of her bed, still holding onto her hand as he cried. "Just come back to me Rachel, please."

* * *

"That was him wasn't it?" Rachel said as Finn ended his tearful speech, "That means I can hear him doesn't it?"

"Yes," Finn said, still stroking her back.

"I want to go back, I want to see him," she said, breaking away.

"I don't know how to make that happen anymore," Finn said. "I think it's up to you."

"Pinch me, you can pinch me," She said, holding out her arm.

"Rachel…"

"Just do it, please."

Finn sighed and pinched her arm, humoring her.

"It didn't work," She said, dejectedly. "Wake up Rachel, wake up," She said, slapping her own face.

"Rachel stop," Finn said, grabbing both of her arms.

"What if I never wake up? What happens then?"

Finn just looked at her, not knowing what to say.

"The song," Rachel said. "I never finished singing it."

Finn looked at her and smiled a little. "It's worth a shot Rachel."

"Okay, where did I leave off?"

"Come back to me now," Finn said.

"Would you sing with me?" She said.

"Always," he said, smiling.

"Okay, here goes," She said, taking his hand.

_I know you hear me somehow_

_and so I'll tell you this one simple thing_

_wherever you are right now_

_you should know it's of you that I'm thinking_

_When I say_

_Why can't we come back to the way we were_

_Why can't you come back to me now_

_Come back to me now._

"What now?" Rachel said, as they finished.

"I guess we just... wait."

* * *

"Finn Honey?" Hiram said as he entered the room, gently touching Finn's shoulder. " Where you singing again?"

"Yeah, it was just something I was working on before" Finn said drying his tears. "I think I finished it."

"It's time for you to go home now Finn."

"No, it's okay," Finn said unconvincingly. "I'm okay."

"No you aren't Finn, none of us are," Leroy said. "We promise we'll call if anything changes."

"She needs me here, she can hear me I know it," Finn said, starting to get choked up again.

"We know son, we know," Leroy said.

"She opened her eyes once, it was just for a second, but she opened them. That means something, doesn't it?" Finn said, still crying.

"Finn, you're going to make yourself sick. You need to go home," Hiram said.

"You promise you'll call me if she wakes up?"

"Of course son," Leroy said, stroking his shoulder gently.

Finn reluctantly stood up, "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow okay sleeping beauty?" He said, Kissing her one last time.

"That's really starting to get annoying," Rachel whispered as his lips parted from hers, causing him to do a double take. Had she really just spoken?

"Nurse!" Finn yelled. "Rachel, Rachel can you hear me, please talk to me, I know you can hear me."

"What happened?" Nurse Shaw said, entering the room.

"She talked, I heard her. You guys heard her too I know it," He said. "Talk again baby, please." He kissed her again, on the forehead this time, hoping to god that the sleeping beauty theory had some meat to it.

* * *

"Finn, now is really not the time, we're waiting to see if the song worked."

"I told you I can't help it."

She didn't answer, she just stared at him blankly.

"Are you alright, Rachel?"

"Finn?" Rachel said, "Something's happening. I feel, funny."

"Are you okay?" He said again, concerned.

"No, I think I'm flatlining," She said, "I feel so…"

"Rachel!" Finn said as she collapsed into his arms.

"Finn," She said groggily. "I'm going away now Finn."

"No, Rach you have to hold on, you've come so far. Just hold on a little longer!"

"Everything's so bright," she whispered into his chest.

"It's going to be okay, I promise," He said, burying his face in her hair.

* * *

"What's happening to her?" Finn said worriedly as the lines on the screen began to change.

"That's her brain activity," Nurse Shaw said. "Do you know what this means?"

"Finn?" it was barely a whisper, but it was as plain as day to him. She said his name, she talked again.

"It means she's waking up," Nurse Shaw said, smiling at Finn and Rachel's Dads.

"Dad? Daddy?" she said next, still barely whispering as she opened her large eyes. They pushed past the nurse and met Rachel by her bedside.

"Oh my god honey, you're okay," Leroy said, embracing his daughter.

"We were so scared," Hiram said. Rachel met Finn's eyes over her Dad's shoulder. He hadn't moved, and tears still streamed down his face. "Thank goodness," Leroy said, kissing the top of her head.

"Finn?" Rachel said, a little louder. Rachel's dad's reluctantly backed away, giving him room.

"Rachel," he said, carefully sitting next to her and looking into her eyes.

"Your face," Rachel said quietly, touching Finn's unblemished cheek.

"What about it?" Finn said, smiling through his tears.

"It's beautiful," she said. "Can you all see him?" she continued, looking frantically around the room.

"Some confusion is to be expected upon waking, Dr. Mead said. They hadn't even realized he'd come in.

"You came back." Finn said, running his fingers through her matted hair. "I knew you'd come back." He continued before he kissed her forehead tenderly and took her into his arms and held onto her for dear life.

"Where did I go?" she said, still confused as she held onto him.

"You went away for awhile baby girl," Leroy said.

"We thought we'd lost you there for a second," Hiram added.

"But I'm back now," she said looking at Finn. "You brought me back."

**Hope the back and forth between world's didn't confuse anyone. Oh, and raise your hand if you guessed coma. I considered changing the ending after one reader guessed it, but I decided to instead substitute unpredictability with touchingness. I hope you found that touching, and I really hope you enjoy the last chapter which will explain a few more things. Thanks for reading everyone.**


	10. Where I belong

Rachel smoothed out the front of her short blue dress, making sure there was nary a wrinkle or crease. The corners of her lips turned up a little after evaluating her appearance. It had been a week since she was released from the hospital, but part of the ordeal stayed with her. She had trouble remembering certain things, like Kurt's phone number, and the Lyrics to My Heart Will Go On. She was also thinner and weaker, and having always been a small girl the difference was more noticeable than she would have liked. There was also the nagging fear that she was still on that bed, completely out and simply imagining that she was getting dressed to go to a concert with Finn.

The dream had been so vivid, it had felt so real. It wasn't until she woke up that she realized that some things were off in the world she had slipped away to, that some parts were missing. When she was away there didn't seem to be anything strange in the fact that she went from crying in her bedroom to being at Finn's funeral, to attending the first day of school without any space in between. If everything about that world felt so real, how could she truly know if she were awake or not? She pushed those thoughts away. Even if it was a dream, it was a much better one than she had woken up from days before.

As she decided to stop questioning her existence she picked out her star necklace from the jewelry box where she always kept it and fastened it around her neck. She knew that they weren't officially back together yet, Finn had never actually confirmed that he was her boyfriend again. But she assumed that all of the heavy make out sessions that they enjoyed since she came back from the hospital meant that they weren't exactly just friends either, even if at the back of her mind she wondered what the extra attention was really all about. Even still, wearing the necklace just felt right. She gave herself a quick onceover in the mirror before heading out the bedroom door, fully expecting to be accosted by her fathers.

"Are you sure you feel alright to go out?"

"Do you have your cell phone? You know to call us if you start feeling dizzy right?"

"Does Finn have a GPS?"

"Is it true that he ran over a mailman?"

"Are you sure you don't want to stay in one more night? I'm sure Finn will understand."

"Dad, daddy, relax. I feel fine. Getting out of the house is the best thing for me, I swear."

"Well are you sure he can't pick you up?" Leroy said.

"To tell the truth I'm a little stir crazy, I think a walk would do me some good. We'll drive to the concert from his place," Rachel lied. The truth was the thought of her dads attacking Finn with questions was too terrifying to contemplate. They were bad enough when Finn just hung out at her place.

"I love you both, I'll be back late," She said, kissing each of her fathers on the cheek.

* * *

Finn had decided against the fedora, still, he looked quite the heartthrob in his nice jeans, band T shirt, red sneakers and crisp button down that Kurt had bought him for his birthday. He'd lightly gelled his hair and even spritzed on a bit of cologne for the occasion. It was Rachel's first time out since she woke up, and he wanted to make it special for her. He'd be lying if he said that things hadn't been different between them. They never really talked about what happened, in fact they barely talked at all. Most of the time they just kissed, which was nice, but he couldn't help but think that all of the making out was her way of not having to talk about it. He didn't pressure her, he knew how hard it must have been to readjust to everything, especially since nobody seemed to try very hard not to make things weird for her, she couldn't yawn or sigh or make a certain expression without someone asking her if she was okay, even he had to try extra hard not to be too overprotective. Her dads were the worst. The last time he'd watched a movie at her house they must have offered drinks and snacks every five minutes, and when she fell asleep with her head in his lap they actually asked him to check if she was still breathing. He knew that things would be back to normal soon, but until then he would just have to deal with it. He loved her after all.

He hadn't said it to her since they got back together. That is if they were even officially back together. He'd never actually said that he was her boyfriend again, he guessed it kind of just went without saying. Still, he knew that sooner or later they were going to have to have to talk about it.

"Hey Finn," Finn darted his eyes toward the slightly open door to see Rachel poking her head in. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," he said, smiling. She gave him a soft kiss upon entering. "What are you doing here so early, I was supposed to pick you up in half an hour."

"I know," She said, shrugging. "I just couldn't wait to see you." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, closing the door with her foot. He reciprocated, wrapping his arms around her waist and holding her so close he thought he might dissolve into her. She held his face in her hands as she kissed him, caressing his tongue with hers and sighing softly into his mouth. She backed him up onto his bed, falling onto him as their lips continued to move together.

"Wait, Rachel," he said, somehow managing to come up for air even with the always surprisingly forceful brunette on top of him, practically mauling him in the best possible way.

"What's wrong?" she said.

"Nothing, nothing's wrong," He said kissing her one more time before rolling onto his side so he could face her as they laid down together. "I just wanted to talk."

"About what?"

"Well, I know you haven't really wanted to talk about the accident."

"Finn—

"No, let me finish," he said, cutting her off. "I understand, I do, it's just…"

"You're worried, about me," She said as a statement rather than a question.

"Well, yeah, a little."

"Finn, you don't have to worry about me, I'm okay."

"I know you keep saying that, but you never seem to want to talk to me anymore. When we're together all you want to do is kiss, which is awesome, don't get me wrong, but I just want to make sure that you know that you can tell me anything."

"I know Finn," She said, smiling a little.

"Okay, so do you want to tell me… anything?"

Rachel propped herself up on her elbow. "Well, there is something I wanted to ask you."

"Shoot," he said, thinking privately that it wasn't exactly the most romantic choice of words.

"Well, are we a couple? You and me?"

Finn knitted his brow in contemplation "Well, do you want to be a couple?"

"I think you know what I want Finn," She said. "But before the accident you didn't seem to be interested in being with me again. I guess I just feel like the only reason we're together right now is because I almost died. I mean, everyone treats me differently now, I can't help but think that maybe you are too."

"That's not true," he said placing a comforting hand on her cheek.

"So, why now?"

Finn had to think for a second, the truth was he had thought about that too. He just hadn't decided what he would say if she were to ever ask him. Now that she had, he knew he would need to choose his words carefully. "Rachel, do you remember what you asked me right before the fire?" he finally said. "You asked me what I was afraid of."

"Yeah, I remember," Rachel said.

"Well, I was afraid of you," he said. "The truth is, you've scared the hell out of me ever since the day I first met you."

"Am I going to like where this is going Finn?" she said, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Rachel, being with you has never felt safe, you've always had this passion inside of you that made me wonder if I could ever keep up, if I could ever be the guy who deserved to have someone feel that intensely about him."

"You are that guy Finn," She said reassuringly.

Finn half smiled at her, "Do you want to know what else scared me?"

"What?"

"The fact that I felt the exact same way about you, the difference is I wasn't ready for it."

"But you are now?" She asked, almost timidly.

"That's the thing," he continued. "When you got hurt, and I saw you lying there in that bed like that, I realized something. I realized that the thought of not ever being with you again was 1000 times scarier than being with you ever was. You've always been so much stronger than me, and for once I had to be strong for you, and it wasn't until then that I knew that I could, I realized that I loved you enough to forget everything that I was hung up on, and that all I really wanted to do was take care of you."

Rachel gave him a beaming smile as a stray tear rolled down her cheek. "And seeing you now, even though I know you're going to be okay…" he continued

"What?" she said eagerly.

He shrugged, "All I want to do is take care of you," he repeated.

Rachel moved in closer to him and allowed him to wrap his arms around her.

"Do you still think I'm scary?" She said, making Finn laugh.

"I'll be right back," he said, pushing her hair back and kissing the crescent moon shaped scar on the corner of her forehead before getting up from his bed. "I have something for you."

Rachel sat up on Finn's bed as he left. She never really knew what to do when she was left alone in someone's room. Usually she just sat there, tapping her foot and trying to wait patiently, but this was Finn's room, she hadn't been there in months, and she couldn't help but take in the details. She noticed a few new posters on the walls, different sheets and the Casio that took up residence next to his drum set, a few stray papers sitting atop it. She glanced toward the door, hoping that Finn would take a few more minutes while she took a look at what he had been up to while she was out. As she examined the words on the paper it took her a second before she remembered where she had heard them before.

"Rach?" Finn said, reentering the room.

"This song," Rachel said looking up at him, not even attempting to hide the fact that she had been snooping.

"I know, it sucks."

"No, Finn, I dreamed about this song," Rachel said. "Did you sing this for me at the hospital?"

"Yeah, I wrote it for you, I was kind of in a bad place when you were away. One night I couldn't sleep and I just felt like writing down everything I was feeling."

Rachel walked up to him and placed her head on his chest, hugging him tight. "Thank you Finn, this meant more to me than you'll ever know," She said. "I think it's what brought me back."

"I'm just happy I got through," he said. "There were some days I wasn't sure if you could hear me at all."

"I could hear you, I may not have known it at the time, but I could hear you," Rachel kissed him tenderly, further showing her gratitude.

"Rach," Finn said tentatively. "what else did you dream about when you were away? What was it like in there?"

She wondered silently if she should tell him the truth, about his death, about the phantom about everything. Finally she opened her mouth to speak. "You know, just random dream stuff." she lied, before kissing him again. "But none of that matters now. I'm exactly where I belong."

"Yeah, I guess you are," he said, closing the distance between them once more.

"So, what do you have for me?" She said as their lips parted.

"Oh," Finn said reaching into the plastic bag he held in his hand. He pulled out a T-shirt that matched the one he was wearing. "They came with the tickets, you don't have to wear it today though, I know it's a little big."

"No, I want to," she said, taking it and pulling it on over her dress.

Finn tried to stifle his laughter at the sight of Rachel in the T-shirt, it was so big that it surpassed the length of her dress. "Here, turn around," He said, chuckling.

"Rachel rolled her eyes a little and obliged, turning around and allowing Finn to knot the comically oversized shirt.

"There," he said, pulling the knot tight and tucking it under.

"How do I look?" she said cutely as she turned back around.

Finn just smiled at her, "Fantastic," he said, grabbing her hand as they started out the door, ready to face the world together.

**Thanks again for tuning in, and make sure to catch the epilogue, which will be posted shortly.**


	11. Epilogue

**Sorry this took longer than I expected, especially since it's so short.**

_And I will hold on hope and I will let you choke on the noose around your neck_

_And I'll find strength in pain, and I will change my ways…_

Rachel sang the song softly as she prepared for bed, still beaming from the fantastic day she had just spent with Finn. He had packed a picnic lunch of subway sandwiches and potato chips for them to eat as they watched the band from a blanket on the grass. And they sang along to the quick songs and made out to the slow songs and waved lighters in the air during the encore because they'd both always wanted to do that. It was the perfect day, she just wished it didn't have to end.

"You look like you had fun," A voice said from behind her, causing Rachel to nearly leap out of her skin.

"Oh my god, no... it can't be" Rachel said, tears brimming in her eyes as the familiar masked figure appeared in her window, he looked different, his rugged leather mask, tattered clothes and brown trench coat were replaced with a more traditional phantom look, white mask, suit, cape, the whole nine.

"You're right, it can't be," He said.

"I'm still asleep aren't I? I knew it, I knew things were just too perfect," She said, still crying.

"Yeah, you're asleep alright," Finn said, entering her room. "You're fast asleep in your bed after a fun-filled day with the guy who loves you." Finn pointed to Rachel's bed, sure enough there she was, sleeping in her oversized Mumford and Sons T-Shirt.

"So I'm not in a coma?" Rachel said, relieved as she looked upon herself.

"No, not as far as I know."

"So what are you doing here?" she said, perplexed.

"Well I just realized I never really got a chance to say goodbye," he said. "I thought I'd dress up, you know, since this might be the last time I ever see you."

"You just mean Phantom you right? I'm not going to wake up and discover that my boyfriend's disappeared am I?"

"Trust me, you're never getting rid of that guy," Finn said. "But now that your back in the land of the living it's time for me to move on. I just wanted to make sure that you were okay."

She smiled a little. "Yeah, I'm okay," she said. "But what about you? What's going to happen to you now?"

"That's kind of a weird question to ask a figment of your imagination," Finn said.

Rachel shrugged. "Well I guess you never really felt like one."

Finn walked up to her, "There's something I wanted to show you, before I left." He pulled the mask off slowly. As she looked upon his face she realized that there were no scars at all.

"You're… healed," Rachel said, placing her palm on his face.

"Yeah, I think I might have been some kind of metaphor this whole time."

"Like for my broken relationship with Finn?" Rachel deduced. "And now that I've worked things out, and everything is okay between us, you're okay too?"

"Thank you for that by the way," He said. "I really wasn't into the whole Mel Gibson in Man Without a Face look."

"I don't know," Rachel said, shrugging "I still think you were pretty hot."

Finn smiled at her warmly "Well I think I should get going now," he said, shoving the mask in his pocket. "You take care of yourself Rach."

Rachel stood up on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.

"I will, I promise."

The End.


End file.
